pubcrawl

Biggles Bistro @ TAC

2010-01-19T11:46:00.014+02:00

Fly Bar

Co-ordinates: S 26º 14.49; E 028º 09.46
Tel: 079 590 5327

Scene: Pilots old and new, plane mechanics, salesmen, bikers and yuppies
On tap: Castle, Hansa
Car safety: There's a bird watching from the sky
Brawlability: People don't fight at Bistros, do they?
Famous for: Watching da planes and talking kak
Need to know: Stay away from the fence when the Cheetahs are taking off

The first time I went to Biggles Bistro was after a game of paintball with the lads many, many moons ago. Some crazy kid in the group, Manny, suggested we go to this pub at the end of Rand Airport’s runway for an ale and to boast about our newly acquired battle wounds. The two pubs and the beer garden were packed for some or other function, memory fails, I must have been on auto pilot from the pain that day, but what a wicked, beer blurred afternoon it was.

Home to the now retired iconic 747, Lebombo (google her), Biggles Bistro, once known as TAC (Transvaal Aviation Club) is all about the romance of flying. A spot where grizzled ol’ flyboys, bush pilots, yuppies and bikers all band together to enjoy open skies and anything from Cessna SkyHawks to old fighter jets taking off and landing just meters away. A word to those who get lost easily, take a GPS and punch in the co-ordinates, this place ain't easy to find.

The menu has all the regulars: pizzas, rumps, Sunday Roasts and the best crispy chips in my opinion. I had the 500g T-bone (R48) which looked tasty but was disappointingly mediocre, maybe it was because it was on special that day. Luckily the awesome views, planes and friendly service made up for it. - Mr Mulberry.

View Biggles Bistro @ TAC in a larger map

Die Waenhuis Pub & Grub

2009-12-30T08:36:00.001+02:00

Quaint bar in a quaint town

Cnr Hudson and Martin Str, Nieu Bethesda, Eastern Cape

http://www.nieubethesda.co.za/

Scene: Farmers, backpackers, barefoot, bleary eyed.
On tap: Nada.
Car safety: This is horse country - your SUV is safe, and ridiculed.
Brawlability: Watch some Eastwood flicks, and behave accordingly.
Famous for: Potjiekos, and the Owl House just down the road
Need to know: You need to book your meals, otherwise it's Salticrax and dust.

You know that Clint Eastwood movie - the one where he rides into town on a tired horse, squinting into the dust. He heads to the nearest (unfranchised) watering hole, climbs the few stairs (spurs tinkling) and bursts through the creaking saloon doors. A few unwashed heathens (unbelievers of Clint) straggle to their feet, spitting some foul tobacco flavoured obscenities, and as they are still thinking about reaching for their six-shooters, they're despatched from this world - with a belly full of hot lead and ice cold revenge.

Well, this place isn't really like that. Driving the 30 kays of dirt road into town on a hot afternoon is thirsty work, and thankfully Die Waenhuis is on the main drag near the B&B we've booked.
First impressions - big old square building, dating back a century or two - it must have started life as a barn or maybe even some high-ceilinged little school house (or a wagon garage, as the name suggests - Ed.).

Inside, it's bare necessities - dusty floor, quaint tables and chairs - a roughly-hewn bar takes up the one wall. Sunlight washes in from the right, lending the place a quiet, old world feel, and a few self-conscious tourists shuffle about, coaxing the 100 year old dust from corner to corner.
The Amstels are ice cold, the house wine is decent, but I'm sure we were charged the 'out-of-towner' rate (15 bucks ZAR per bottle of beer), which is right up there with some of Joburg's pricier joints.
There's a big screen TV nailed to the wall (we were losing at the cricket, again), and a fireplace smack bang in the middle - apparently winters here are murderous.
We opted to park our lazy bones outside on the benches, where you can watch the sun set behind the mountain, and see the potjiekos slow cook in the waning light.
Every now and then you're treated to the sight of a few local lads riding their ponies hard around the block, bare-back horsemanship that makes your dangly bits shrivel. In the city, these same boys would be doing burn-outs in their Opel Corsas, with the hip-hop pumping. Thank goodness they haven't figured out how to mount an amp on a horse.

For din-dins tonight - lamb potjie (stew) - rice and samp (just say if you'd like some more and you'll get seconds) - a few more wetties and then it's time to walk to bed, 2 blocks away.
Donkey-brays and jackal-howls quicken the pace, and soon we're passed out on a quilted bedspread, with the resident house cat purring quietly on my face. - Jason Bronkhorst. Photos © Caron Malherbe

View Die Waenhuis Pub and Grub in a larger map

Olde's Restaurant

2009-12-27T10:56:00.004+02:00

Sweating bullets
Short Street, Knysna, Garden Route
Scene: Sunburnt tourists, local mackies, boets
On tap: Mitchell's, the very decent local beer. And some others, insignificant at the time.
Car safety: It's Knysna. Walk.
Brawlability: No fighting 'round the air-con!
Famous for: Air-con, ok!? (Actually it's a rad old boozer).
Need to know: Do the tourist thing before noon, and hit this place for lunch.

So the heat is pulsing and we're wandering up the drag after scoffing oysters on the dockside. The Better Half is wilting and my inner thighs are chafing. Sis. Our man in the field, Steak, is melting into his ghetto canvas shoes - 35 degrees (C), salty air and sweat do happy campers not make.
Inspiration descends upon the man, and he points out that after a quick gallery-hop we should head to this bar with air conditioning.

Bless his black little heart: Olde's Restaurant is a cool haven in the belching waves of blistering tourists and rabid locals. Bump and grind, man. Mercy!
The usual beach bar vibe from outside - stock in trade wooden benches and a covered patio greet you from the street level entrance. Neon signs promise cold beer and a side order of kitsch. Just what the doctor ordered. As the pure bliss of cold air-con soothes out the wrinkles and dents, we find ourselves glugging pints of Mitchell's ale.

An old(e) school pub, hence it's name, and there were rumours of food like Springbok burgers. But let's just say we were far too thirsty to think about eating, and by the time we felt hunger pangs we were halfway through a fish braai on the beach at Buffalo Bay. - Safari Suit Steve. Photos © Caron Malherbe

View Olde's Restaurant in a larger map

Kimberly Hotel Bar

2009-12-07T08:11:00.010+02:00

Burning the Midnight Oil
Cnr Buitenkant and Roeland Street, Cape Town

Scene: Mechanics and Gamblers + Music scenesters
On tap: A wide range of Nothing Fancy
Car safety: Buy a Gear lock
Brawlability: Are you looking at my woman? She’s yours for Fifty Rond. What Do you mean she’s not worth Fifty Rond?
Famous for: The incredibly crap Juke box
Need to know: Do not piss in the slot machines

I cannot tell you the price of beer at The Kimberly Hotel because the whore who sits at the corner of the bar always buys them for me. When I say whore I’m talking about the music industry guy not the working ladies. The working ladies give me a wide berth except when I’m playing Tina Turner songs on the CD jukebox.

I have been going to the Kimberly for years now (a sorta pilgrimage to a dead friend who once showed me the pleasure of dancing on the bar in time to Bruce Lee movies there, Here’s to you Paul) and only two things have changed. The web designers who used to slink off here in defeat after client meetings to hide amongst the curious mix of semi literate wisdom sprouting working class types and broke ass metal heads have been replaced with viral marketing experts. And instead of one slot machine in the toilets there are now about ten. The bar is still wood, the walls are adorned with mining and Victorian flotsam and jetsam, the beer is still cold and they still have Midnight Oil on the juke. The stools are high enough to fall off and you are guaranteed to be propositioned in one way or the other.

Unlike bowling clubs around the country the Kimberly has always remained impervious to the sallies from the hipsters to claim it as its own. Also the thick grime on the tables makes it hard to knock your beer over when you realise that the ladies of the night are trying to steal your jukebox R2 coins and have to make a lunge for them.
- Roger Young. Photos © Knut Otto

View Kimberly Hotel Bar in a larger map

The Jolly Roger

2009-11-26T11:21:00.002+02:00

The local, no matter where you're from
10 Fourth Avenue, Parkhurst
011 442 3954

Scene: This place has seen 'em all, ok?
On tap: Amstel, Castle, Guinness, Hansa, Kilkenny, Windhoek
Car safety: Out on the streets of Parkhurst. Car guards appear as if by magic when you're leaving
Brawlability: Been there, done that
Famous for: Half-price pizza on Sundays and Wednesdays, awesome view.
Need to know: Remember the waitress' names. You will see them often.

The noise can be heard a mile away (literally a mile - the closest available parking). That festive humming, a hive of vice and expectation, the balcony groaning under the Wednesday night crowd. This, dear friends, is the Jolly Roger. Tonight, all pizzas are half price. That means they're half as cheap as they already are. After a day at the coal face, a cold beer and a slice is as close to paradise as you get. Bargain.
At anchor on the busiest corner of Parkhurst, this bonny lass has been weathering the hordes of thirsty punters long before this became a trendy 'burb, and on busy nights like this she's in a merry mood. The lipstick's a bit smeared and the eye-shadow is a little too blue - the air of a grand dame at the end of a long night. Her guests are all close friends, old lovers, young bucks.

But she has her quiet times too – time for pause. Reflection. Those are the days that I've crawled into her dark embrace, suckled at her generous breast. A place away from the madding crowd. And deadlines. On a too-bright summer's day, the lower bar area is a cool and dark retreat. A soothing den from which to peer out at the great unwashed, simmering in their hot cars. Upstairs the long balcony is loaded with low slung tables – ideal for resting your arm on the rail and watching the sun etch it's way toward the horizon.

Scuffed, old school, perfect. - Jason Baden-Hosen. photos © Warren van Rensburg

View The Jolly Roger in a larger map

33 High Street

2009-11-23T11:57:00.007+02:00

Restaurant, cellar bar and function venue
22 High Street, Modderfontein
Manageress: Erolene
011 606 3575

Scene: Families, friends and beer garden enthusiasts
On tap: None as yet

Car safety: Car park on the property, fairly safe
Brawlability: No fights, family setting, kid friendly
Famous for: Portuguese cuisine, beautiful setting, wedding receptions
Need to know: Closed on Mondays, kitchen closes at 3pm on Sundays.

Warm, partly cloudy and sunny Sundays – Ahh, the perfect excuse to go in search of a pub lunch in a beer garden under some oak trees and sommer just chill for a few hours. The wife and I went for a little drive down to an old favourite that we hadn’t been to in ages. Admittedly, we were a bit hesitant... the last time we visited, the scantily clad waitress completely put us off our food with her self-mutilation scars. Sis!

The broken air conditioner in the beat up old Toyota left us hot and bothered, so we headed straight for the shade. Everything was new: the umbrellas, the tables, everything. Luckily there was no sign of the self-loathing goth waitress, and we were served by a well dressed waiter. We noticed that the menu had completely changed from the same old pub grub to an entirely Portuguese offering. Everything from the usual pub specials to some fancy restaurant cuisine is on offer. Since it was a pub lunch we were after, we stuck to our guns and opted for good old pregos and potato wedges (R58 each). This place serves THE best prego I have ever had. Wow, just look at the picture!

33 High Street is under new management, thankfully so, as it was very run down the last time we were there. Apparently it burned down five months ago, but has since been restored and has been open for just a month. The one sore point for me is that the cellar bar does not stock anything on tap. Yet. Erolene explains that this is because it’s not busy enough, but once the numbers are up this will change. So, if you’re don’t mind draught from a can and fancy a delicious Portugese meal... - Mr Mulberry

View 33 High Street in a larger map

O'Hagan's Irish Pub

2009-11-19T09:32:00.003+02:00

Another Oirish restaurant and pub
Orion Building, Cnr Boeing Road East and 1st Ave, Elma Park, Edenvale
011 453 8340, www.ohagans.co.za

Scene: Local pub, after work, patio pinting, single moms and grandads, first dates
On tap: Amstel, Castle, Hansa, Windhoek, Guinness, Kilkenny

Car safety: Should be ok
Brawlability: The car park has seen some action
Famous for: The big old Orion Building squatting over it - on the way from the airport!
Need to know: Monday: Aces high; Tuesday: Quizz Night; Wednesday: Ladies Cocktail Special; Thursday: Karaoke; Friday: Live music.

A storm was brewing on this unreasonably (unseasonably) cold and wet Wednesday, so we decided to hide out at the Oirish theme bar down the drag and fill up on carbs.
Like any franchised pub, the place has the wooden doors, black window trim and a lick of green paint here and there, but the most noticeable thing about the place is the 20 or so floors of the Orion Centre directly above it. A great landmark when coming or going to the airport.

The waiters are friendly and greet you at the door. Spacious inside, with an enclosed bar area to the right and a dining area to the left. Hiding out back is a little room filled with those gambling machines, just in case you were yearning for some cheap thrills.
We sat by the window in the bar area where the glow of nostalgia warmed us as the rain whipped against the glass. The place has an endearing well-worn feel, the tables and chairs show the wear and tear of a thousand lonely backsides, names and promises scratched into the varnish. A fireplace in the back creates the perfect atmosphere, and old and young patrons talk about cars, girls, the day at the office and cars.
The draught was ice cold, but like many other places, they opt for the low-end house wine - a choice of 'white vinegar' or 'cheap balsamic', as tried by The Better Half.

Menu-wise we have the regular pub fodder – chip and sausage baskets thru to steaks, with a few burgers thrown in. The bangers & mash is disappointing - they use gravy powder out of a box and I expected more, especially since it's on the wrong side of 50 bucks (ZAR). Punters are getting a little more sophisticated these days, and we do expect a little more attention to detail, yes?
Overall, the place inspires a pleasant evening. Warm food, cold beer, talk of books and movies and future plans. The rain stopped and we made a dash for home.

Like an old U2 song: Not my favourite, but one I wouldn't mind hearing again. - Jason Baden-Hosen

View O'Hagans Irish Pub in a larger map

The Brazen Head - Bryanston

2009-11-16T14:28:00.014+02:00

Irish restaurant and pub
Grosvenor Crossing
Cnr William Nicol Drive & Grosvenor Road
Manager - Charmaine
011 463 5818

Scene: Local pub, corporate types by day, good ol’ regulars by night
On tap: Peroni, Hansa Marzen Gold, Castle, Mitchell's, Forrester's, Amstel, Guinness, Kilkenny, Stella

Car safety: Safe and secure
Brawlability: Only when the Guinness runs out
Famous for: Pies (too many to mention) and the obvious
Need to know: Guinness runs out by 10 pm on St Paddy’s day

Before I go any further let me get one thing straight. Irish pub franchises usually ooze rip-off decor of O’ Neill’s Pub in Dublin (the best pub I've ever been to) very badly so I was a bit hesitant. Ok, so The Brazen Head has all of these and I suppose being a franchise there is no way to escape it, but it also has a visibly old bar counter, yellowed newspaper clippings and other relics that at least keep your eyes from focusing on the unrealistic ‘aged Irish pub wall’ look.

The Brazen Head has a decent size bar but unfortunately the surrounding bar area is pretty squashed, enough to hold 70-80 people max. What I find impressive is, that according to the manager, 25 odd kegs of Guinness get demolished on St. Paddy’s Day before 10pm. Now that’s a fair few pints of Guinness (R25) for such a small pub. The Bar has most beers on tap as well as a new addition: Mitchell’s Forrester’s Draught (20) is now on tap here and I see at a few other pubs too. Nice! The restaurant area is also very small if you don’t count the smoking area.

The meals are decent although I burnt my tongue on the first mouthful of beef & Guinness pie (R67), yeah watch out, those pies are stinking hot. I did eventually enjoy it once I washed the pain away with an ice cold Kilkenny (R25). On a whole, The Brazen Head has a friendly atmosphere and if you don’t mind being squashed like a sardine during a festive occasion it’s worth a visit. - Mr Mulberry

View The Brazen Head - Bryanston in a larger map

Grand Slam

2009-11-12T11:49:00.010+02:00

Sports Diner on steroids
Corner Elm & Sycamore Str, Dowerglen
011 454 3700

Scene: Sports pub and diner, every Tom, Dick and Harry comes here
On tap: Peroni, Hansa Marzen Gold, Castle, Amstel, Windhoek, Kilkenny and Guinness

Car safety: As safe as can be with Colin the car guard on duty
Brawlability: Muahahaha!
Famous for: Any sporting event on TV and Manny’s Special
Need to know: Book in advance for a table when there’s an important match, game or race ... trust me.

The Grand Slam is the place to go when England’s playing Portugal in the semi-finals, or during the week when all other pubs seem too far or just missing something. I dunno, maybe it’s the legendary Manny’s Special (trinchado and chips, R50). The Slammer was originally established in 1995 as part of the Super Sport franchise - are any of those still around? Well, she survived that, and then some. Nowadays, punters are travelling from as far off as Centurion when tickets to Loftus are sold out, or just sommer for a couple of toots on the deck come Sunday afternoon.

The bar and seating area is large, almost as large as the massive flat screen TV that takes center stage during those all important Man U vs. Liverpool games. The outside balcony/deck area is a popular choice, being West facing, and has sliding glass doors and gas heaters during the chilly months... for the girls. There are a stack of flat screen TVs - big, small and from every angle so you can watch cricket, MotoGP, soccer and a triathlon all at once.

The food is pretty decent. Meals worth chowing range from pub grub (R50) to surf n turf (R110). If you’ve eaten recently, stay away from the Grand Slam cheese burger, it’s ridiculously big.

The biggest annoyance is the lack of parking, especially during big sporting events. If you don’t get there at 10am in the morning for the 3pm kick-off, you will be walking and standing and standing and stumbling. - Mr Mulberry

View Grand Slam in a larger map

The Corner House

2009-11-09T13:59:00.000+02:00

Country kid all growed up
Cnr Witkoppen Road and Church Street, Douglasdale
Manager: Lindie
0828714172

Scene: Local pub, outdoor area, sports bar
On tap: “Most beers except Peroni...”

Car safety: Maximum 15 cars out front!
Brawlability: Easy now
Famous for: Wood fired pizza - build your own
Need to know: On a busy intersection - look left and right and left again

The Corner House and Charlize Theron have a lot in common – both started out as country kids living out in the sticks, with buck teeth and freckles, wearing that charming hand painted Cold Beer sign. How things have changed: Charlize now has an American accent, and the Corner House Pub and Grill boasts “most beers on tap, except Peroni”.
Entering the place, the cool atmosphere is filled with wooden furniture, neon signs and TV screens, hinting at the raucous Friday nights. It has been known to pump well after 1am here, the motley cru of gin-blossomed oldies, young professional types and tanning salon owners mixing it up with the jock squad.

Up some rickety stairs is a deck running the length of the lower area – plenty of room to escape the crush of the rowdy downstairs crowd, or to soak up the rays on a lazy Sunday while watching the clouds ease by.
Food wise I suggest you construct your own pizza – do this by ticking a few boxes on the order slip - although I opted for the burger instead (40 ront). The rest of the menu is nothing special, and there are no desserts or coffees, but the enthusiastic waiters will keep the cold ones coming.

The Achilles' heel? Parking – out front there's a dusty patch with barely enough room for the retired lawyer's Jag, not to mention the gym instructor's Fiesta or the teaching student's Citi Golf. It's a pretty busy road, and you'll have to get a spot in front of the nursery across the way or around the block by the creche, which can be very tricky at night. So, no, it's not a good idea taking Beer Tan Barry there if he's prone to walkabouts while looking for the toilet. - Safari Suit Steve

View The Corner House in a larger map

The Radium Beer Hall

2009-11-05T13:02:00.001+02:00

An old, comfortable lush
282 Louis Botha Avenue, Orange Grove
Owner, Manny
011 728 3866, manny@theradium.co.za

Scene: Local pub, old gents in velvet suits, mackeys in faded caps, pimps, secretaries, hipsters and other cultural tourists.
On tap: Amstel, Castle, Guinness, Hansa, Kilkenny, Peroni, Windhoek
Car safety: Out on the street with a car guard. Do not park in the loading zone out front!
Brawlability: No feet on chairs, or talk of politics. Manny will double-clutch your face
Famous for: Being an institution long before you even knew what that meant
Need to know: Don't mess with the short, hairy Jewish guy drinking Wild Turkey shots, if he's been in court all day

This place has been around to see the rise and fall, and rise and fall of Orange Grove at least three times over. Nestled in its corner on Louis Botha Avenue, it's a proper Jozi establishment. How many of Joburg's heroes, sinners, real-estate agents and off-duty mechanics have leaned into that worn, polished and slightly sticky wooden bar and drunk their drunks, smoked their shmaffs and diluted their woes in the ears of their pals or the random strangers sitting next to them, it's hard to say. But you can tell from the wood and the ambience, there have been generations of them.

The Radium's heart beats the same thick black steel as the city itself. The same stuff that makes people dig for gold, shoot guns or smack golfballs at Voda World. But the Radium is laidback too. Old school, yet comfortable. Like a good friend's hot mom. Confident. Easy. Secure in the knowledge that if she just does her thing, the punters appreciate and return so regularly they become family. The beers come quick. The staff are reasonable, even if the crowd is not. Sometimes. Mostly it's mellow vibes. Some nights they play live music. Normally, good musicians consider it a privilege to serenade the heroes leaning into the bar. You can get food at the bar, or in the rows of tables that constitute the beer hall in the back. Some people call it a restaurant. They're mistaken. It's mainly Portuguese inspired chow in the beer hall. A fine prego or a juicy, tender espetada dangling on a kebab. They also have a fine mozambican peri-peri. Ask for it. Spicy meat and cold beers. There are worse things. The old Lion Lager ads in the men's room confirm the Radium's heritage. You're lucky to be able to drink here.
- Andy Davis

View The Radium Beer Hall in a larger map

Die Kneipe

2009-11-03T15:43:00.016+02:00

Ze German Pub
Cnr Langerman & Queen street, Kensington, 2094
Owner: Madeleine Fuchs
+2711 616 8760

Scene: Local, regulars, sales reps, teachers, mechanics (mainly old geezers)
On tap: Amstel, Castle, Hansa, Pilsner Urquell, Windhoek
Car safety: Parking lot appeared safe, car guard present
Brawlability: No fighting, you’ll give the ol’ boys a heart attack
Famous for: German food (Ask for the Eisbein)
Need to know: German sausage repeats on ya

Hours: Open until 11pm - kitchen is closed 3 - 5pm on Sundays

Die Kneipe, which means local pub in German, has got that good old small pub feel without the über Bavarian decor. It is nestled on the lower level of shops on the corner of Kensington’s high street, but because it's signage is hardly seen from the road, it is kept well hidden from the masses. A good or bad thing? I reckon it depends on which side of the glass you’re sitting.

The punters that do find this pub eventually, come here to relax and sink a few pints, watch the footie, rugby or cooking channel and enjoy a hearty Eisbein. Madeleine keeps a constant eye on them to make sure they don’t upset her grumpy regulars ... yep, nobody likes their favourite seat taken.

Personally, I’m addicted to the sunny afternoons watching the traffic go by over several pints, like a hooker to crack. The benches outside are perfectly positioned to watch the soccer moms lose their rags at traffic lights “that change too fast”. I like this bar, and the cosy atmosphere coaxes the conversation into flowing nice and smoothly, and if that dries up, then there is always the hundreds of collected coasters on the walls to gawk at. By this time you most probably should be on your horse anyway. - Mr Mulberry

View Die Kneipe in a larger map

The Irish Club

2009-11-02T16:19:00.001+02:00

Four leaf clover
Cnr 5th Avenue & Salerno Road, Linden
Owner, Mick Desmond
011 877 6187

Scene: Local pub, regulars reading the paper, tennis players, hipsters and tradesmen
On tap: Amstel (R13), Castle (R13), Guinness, Hansa, Peroni, Windhoek,
Car safety: Closed car park, but no guard
Brawlability: Owner Mick busted his hand on the last rowdy punter
Famous for: Guinness, watching tennis
Need to know: Folk band on Fridays, Rock band on Saturdays, quizz night on Wednesday, dart board

Tucked away down a little street off the main road, this little gem of a pub is a good place to brush up on your Irish accent. Refreshing is the fact that there is no franchised 'Oirish Poob' kitsch anywhere to be seen. The double dose of street cred is courtesy of the regulars that actually come from Ireland and everything.
Housed in what can be described as an old Scout Hall, the place has an honest love-me-or-leave-me vibe. You come here to have a pint, chew the fat and pat the dog (Paddy and Murphy). The usual suspects: old girls who comfort their brown bottles, geezers who sink a few after the tennis match, the after-work crowd who drop by to ease the chafe. I'd say the bar area could do with some moody lighting (ie less chow mein and more steak 'n ale), and in the busy periods a few waiters would make getting pissed far less frustrating. This place pumps most nights, and if you're not a rugby forward you're going to go thirsty.

For the sports fans there are TVs and a big screen for the rugger and footie. Food-wise there's a decent curry, pedestrian burgers and the usual whatnots with chips.

The right place for a night on the sauce after heartbreak, an easy-going sundowner on the balcony or the red-faced defense of your footie club. - Mr Smiff, photos © Warren van Rensburg

View The Irish Club in a larger map

Brian's Pub & Diner

2009-10-30T17:05:00.001+02:00

An old man's pub
134 Rietfontein road, Primrose, Gauteng

Scene: Local pub, retired boxers, bikers and old tradesmen
On tap: Definitely none of that here
Car safety: No car guards so not the safest.
Brawlability: Don't let the boxing memorabilia scare you
Famous for: Boxing
Need to know: Scrub up on your boxing knowledge and your pool game!

Deep in the heart of Primrose, Brian’s Pub & Diner is not for sissies. Boxing memorabilia and photos fill this pub from floor to ceiling, from Tyson in action to Mandela’s early boxing days. The locals and the mood is mixed yet eerily friendly as bikers and pensioners get along harmoniously over quarts of Castle and The Beach Boys. Don't be surpised if you see Mickey Rourke dwaaling around in some wrestling tights...

There are widescreen TVs tuned in to non-stop sport and a pool table. A word of advice, do not bring your girlfriend unless you’re willing to lose her in a game of pool against a retired boxing legend.
- Mr Mulberry

View Brian's Pub & Diner in a larger map

MoegeploegKroeg

2009-10-26T17:06:00.000+02:00

A tiny village pub
The main road, Val, Mpumalanga

Andre & Rita Britz

+27 (0)82 5505540, val.hotel@webmail.co.za

Scene: Local pub, outdoor area, small town, big heart, hotel, wedding venue

On tap: None of that here

Car safety: Bigger things to worry about. Like the expanse of sky.

Brawlability: A boerboel keeps things in order

Famous for: The owner’s dance moves

Need to know: Bring some good stories to trade with the locals. Shawn Philips is there in November 2009!

Out in the sticks, somewhere near a grain silo, on the road between Greylingstad and Standerton and just off the R547, is the tiny hamlet of Val. And in Val lives a man named Andre, who happens to own the town, and this bar, and Morrises Minor and Cowley. The pub is attached to a butcher and a hotel – all recently refurbished.
MoegeploegKroeg (The “Plough-weary Pub”) is a small pub on the main road. It’s the only pub on the main road by the looks of it. There are several helpings of cold beer and loud music, not necessarily in that order. Sadly no draft taps, but the icy cold bottles of Heineken make up for it. The decor is small town bar, the ceilings and floors are wooden, and did we mention the beers are cold?

The porch area out front is ideal for watching the long goods trains haul by, and for waiting out the sudden summer rain storms. All while the Rolling Stones want to paint things black. It’s the type of place with enough big city sophistication to make it something special, while still lingering on the edges of small town, country bumpkin sentimentality. Nothing much happens in this place, but that’s more or less the point. – Mr Smith

View Moeg Geploeg Kroeg in a larger map

Eira Moura

2009-10-19T17:10:00.002+02:00

Portuguese Restaurant & Pub
72 12th Ave, cnr Hendrik Potgieter Road, Edenvale
011 609 7604

Scene: Portuguese food, local pub, outdoor area, sports bar
On tap: Amstel, Castle, Windhoek
Car safety: The Porsches will make you jealous
Brawlability: Don’t knock any European football teams
Famous for: Full chicken (peri peri) and crispy chips
Need to know: Big screen TV

This Edenvale pub is pretty unassuming, but the stack of cars (from Porsches to old bakkies) parked up and down the road (and sometimes on the pavement all around it) is enough of a hint as to it’s popularity. The outside porch is usually full of regulars, and is a nice spot to enjoy the summer breeze. There’s a smoking area near the bar, which is a bit cramped, but it’s the perfect place to get into arguments about the latest F1 debacle or our dismal soccer team.

The main dining area is big enough to handle a gaggle of sports fans, who can be seen plugging themselves full of the legendary whole chicken while watching the latest match on the big screen.

Overall the vibe is relaxed, the beers are cold, and the food is like your Portuguese china’s mama used to make. There’s alot of loud talk about football, and the amount of beers that go down is conversely proportionate to the volume setting going up. — Mr Smith

View Eira Moura in a larger map